The Real Me...

...is not what you see on the outside...

Migraines...are...no joke
tessagr
Hey Guys, I know it's been a while since I posted anything here. So I decided to come back and give y'all an update in writing of my recent actions.

It's the New Year 2012 after all. AHHHHHHHHHHH! I know right? lol
Well, for starters I hope you all have a HAPPY and Healthy new year. I plan to get back healthy. For me being an overnight worker for the past almost 4 years, my health has been compromised quite a bit - well ALOT. I have contracted things only old people get, I have gotten the FLU..which I never used to get before, I only suffered from allergies. All these things all because of not sleeping AT NIGHT when I should. Instead I work. But don't I sleep in the day, you ask? Well of course, but the light and time is just not right for one's body to get that adequate R-E-M sleep. You know, the deep one! I do dream and such but I awake too early, like high afternoon just because the sun is extra bright and filters into my room. (well get better curtains!) I know I know, but this is not even just the light problem! It is the time as well. Before I go to work I usually take a 2 or 1 hour nap. This is SUPPOSED to suffice for sleep I will miss for 8-10 hours. Not good. So my body for this new year couldn't take it anymore, especially my brain. It decided to give me ONE HUGE headache. My first migraine. I've heard of them, experienced sinus headaches, and tension headaches, but this HAD to be a migraine, since some time before it, my vision was distorted which is a called an aura and then my whole right side of my face hurts, especially my eye. As if someone had hit me with a metal bat full force and I just didnt remember. Yeah, I was suppose to be singing this same night and I couldn't...I was so nauseated as well. All I did was lie down and had ice on my head...but cold things just seem to make things worse for me. I just lay there till it got super dark and my body would want to fall asleep. Now I wonder if I'll be alright to go to work tonight again. If anything makes me want to get a day job, it's this! What a head ache!
So for the new year, if you decide to do anything it should be take better care of yourself and GET SLEEP! It's more important than you think!

I hope I can write you again soon. I do continue to make VLOGS on youtube so check me out here: www.youtube.com/rickigr40

Guess who's back, back again...
tessagr
Hey everyone, I'm here typing in the dark. And I realize I'm a little rusty for doing so, cuz I used to be real good at it. Now I have to work on NOT looking at the keys when I type. lol. AnW, I'm still "high" from my trip away from home and going to that awesome concert of Ernie Haase and Signature Sound! It was a BLAST and when the guys say they have a blast singing now I believe them even more. They sure looked like it! I even made them a video to watch of me thanking them for showing me and the rest of the audience a good time. Also I pray for them as well. I did forget to mention that.


Anw, if you'd like to check out my facebook page, here it is!


Hey I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack...again! lol
tessagr
Yes it is indeed time for me to spill my brains on how much PHUN, not fun...PHUN I had in North Carolina, Fayetteville. My only regret is not staying LONGER! But I couldn't stay much longer away from my job or my laptop haha. And I have to sing for a youth function at my church this week! Sooo...yeah I have my busy life too. Well let's make this long story short shall we?

I GOT TO SEE ERNIE HAASE & SIGNATURE SOUND LIVE! How cool is that! :)
Yes it was spectacular if I should say in the least descriptive way possible. It was held at Wesley Pritchad's(sp?) church and he and his choir opened up with some great songs for them. Then They ran on to the stage with their microphones and started praising the Lord in song! Ernie did most of the talking and their jokes were funny and fresh...because I've watched all if not some of their dvds and clips on youtube. My favorite song of theirs OH WHAT A SAVIOR was no disappointment either! In fact, it was one of the best versions I've heard in a while by Ernie Haase! They did a great job dancing around and singing at the same time...believe me, that's not very easy to do. They also had new foot gear, they all wore sneaks a throwback brand from the 80s and I think they looked cool in them. Ernie stated that his Doctor wanted him to wear some orthopedic shoes for his knee and to not look odd against Ernie, the other three, Devin, Ian and Doug wore them as well...maybe the band wore them too, I'm not sure if I saw THEIR feet, lol. Each song was great, timely and well executed. They voices LIVE were so much richer and had more depth when you see and hear them sing in person! This is a very unique group and NOW I understand why people who have seen them before follow them around even if its the same set of songs JUST to see them again. Those guys are really genuine and kind when meeting their friends/fans and they have a Love for God that is all their own. Now I miss them and I hate that the concert was so short but my brother, who's an Army soldier, tagged along with me since it was his night off and I was not gonna be around in the States much longer just to spend time with his big sis. And to my delight he also enjoyed the concert and meeting the guys as well! He liked their style very much.

Here's some pics of me and the singing quartet!

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in short: THEY WERE AWESOME AND I WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN...LIIVE!

Looking to Get out and doing just that!
tessagr
Hey! I bet you thought I'd abandoned you again, huh? Well, I'm back to tell you some great news! Yes it will be 21 days till I get to leave this island called St. Thomas of the U.S. Virgin Islands and head to NORTH CAROLINA! Bring IT ON! Can't wait. So yes, count from this day 21 more days and you'll know exactly when I'm leaving. And of course my next blog will be none other than to tell you about my trip! Of course I'd leave the family bits out cuz that's personal, but I WILL tell you most about the upcoming Fayette-ville Concert with Ernie Haase & Signature Sound Gospel Quartet! Not only are they great singers but are super nice and great towards their fans/friends! I've never seen anything like that before for people so well known. It's usually, hey you put out a CD, get on a tour Bus, have your concert, sell your product, sign autographs, take pics but that's about it. They never had twitter or facebook or even live stream chats with their fans or even responded to fan mail! Now you can email them and such and that's only because they are super busy with their families and whatever. So it's understandable even though if you really considered it, it is WE the people who actually help them make their living and God who blesses them with talent and health and strength so they can't take credit. lol But yes you guess it! I am sooo excited! I've heard news reporters, journalists, radio show hosts and tv personalities really shower Ernie's group with praises not just because, but they are really blown away by the performance and concerts. And for one, I don't make it a daily routine to buy 21 dollar tickets along with a PLANE ticket to fly all the way to the States just to see four guys for one night! So they got to be special! I hope they heard me. -__- :) :)
Well, I cannot wait to also see my brother who is in the army whom I have not seen in a few years. Or even since he got hitched as the southerners say. haha
All I have to do now is figure out weather I should carry my own clothes or purchase new FALL clothes for the weather up there. Because down here we have summer all year around. And we have fall when everyone else is having winter! yeah it gets a little cooler at night here. But it's what we call perfect weather.

Anyhow. It was good catching up with ya! I'm about to head off to prepare for work. I don't even wanna go to work...I'm still recovering from my new exercise program. LOL.

Bye bye! Till I return!
Tessa

Writer's Block: 9/11
tessagr
Where were you?


This same exact question is what popped into my mind knowing that Live Journal would ask this! I'm so smart! haha!

Well as to solemnly answer this question. I was 13 years of age at the time, yeah I'm that young. So It was the first week of school I believe my first time in highschool on the wonderful island of St. Thomas, when my mother met me on the stairs(she works in the elementary department) and told me of this horrific happening. I had no idea what the word terrorist mean, I had just learned about it in History class. I had no idea what the world trade center was, I just knew what they looked like. So It wasn't until later on in the months that followed that all the pieces of the puzzle came together. So as many people were, I was in school at the time. I found out many people where I live on my island had connections to this tragedy and it's sad how the world has been affected and what resulted after - war. Now my brother is a U.S. soldier and is about to be deployed for the third time to Afghanistan because of all this "terrorist threat" stuff. Sigh. Well Not only do I ask God to Help America, but Heal as well. Or just come back and make a new Earth. All great ideas right now.

Do I really live in Paradise?
tessagr
So it's ...Still September last I checked! Haha! I hope you all enjoyed Labor day which was actually a day off FROM Labor. How ironic. If you do not wish to read my Blogs you can just watch my VLOGS here on www.youtube.com/rickigr40

As for the readers, this is for you:

I'm saving ferociously to leave my current residence U.S. Virgin Islands! Not permanently no. I mean who doesn't want to be able to say they live in paradise? But that's what everyone in the states thinks, that where I live is exactly that - Paradise. We let them believe it based on the pictures, video clips and even music and culture we portray. But If you ask me, "paradise" is just as any other place in the world. In fact, we have the highest percentile of crime going on as New York is the second highest. Why? Because we are a small place and it is easier for the crime lords to keep gangs together and keep track of who is who. It is also easy to kidnap and kill and rape people(even tourists). Not to scare you off, but this is the world we live in. So your own house can be robbed. No where is safe unless you ask God for protection every day. When it comes to fruitfulness and lots of Greenery, clear, blue waters and white sand, you can count on that as you "paradise" but living here is another matter. We do have our own Governor and yes our government too is corrupt. We act a lot slower than people in the states. Where as Statesiders are bent for time and are rushing to and fro, we don't do that as much. Again because of our small population and suburban country. Yes we also have been affected by things that happen in the U.S. seeing where I live (United States Virgin Islands) is their territory. Yet we are not acknowledged for our soldiers, our contributions to art or culture in the U.S. We are grouped with other Caribbean folk and sometimes even just unfortunately categorized as Jamaicans! I've never been there and don't plan to visit either, but I am no Jamaican. They are a British Island have very different culture to every other island out there. (Most Caribbean islands have their own culture and ways.) But based on our broken English and Creole, many mistake us for them and categorize ALL Caribbean people as Jamaicans which is sad. People need to become more educated of the things in our little world. I believe when people are more informed they are less prejudiced and segregated. People fear what they do not know and that is the truth.

I'm happy I grew up here though. It is like I said a lot more carefree, more people know each other or get a long easier because we islanders stick together. We know how to help. St. Thomas in particular is hardly full of people from St. Thomas...it mostly has people from other Caribbean islands or even the States. Like me, I was born in the states, but grew up here and so has many others. Those who were born in St. Thomas, grow up here, but hardly stay for the next generation of St. Tomians. They go off to the states, still representing their birth country. It is normal for us Caribbean folk to integrate, but everyone knows by way of talk and culture where each man or woman is from. So a little reality there for you. If you plan to live here, expect the normal human behavior, despite what pictures and television tells you. There's nothing new under the sun.

Time to Journey On...
tessagr
So I've been sick for about a week with the flu. The true medical term for it is influenza although I will stick with Flu...because that's what it did - FLEW right into my body. Worse thing about it, the girl's curse came along with it! And you men need to understand...that no only doubly weakens you, it leaves you with NO energy. And you better hope You don't get stomach cramps all the while you have a fever, coughing, sinus problems, head aches and body aches. So...yeah. Be glad you are a MAN, men!

So with all this going on, I've been doing a lot of thinking of where my life is headed in a personal way and a generic way. Generic? What do I mean by that? Well, just look at the news on your television, listen to your radio, even step outside! Trouble surrounds us - totally. These days you can CLEARLY see that the world is going under no matter how many politicians promise better days or how many preachers give a good sermon. Your heart breaks just by looking at these funerals, videos and pictures of death, violence and abuse. Sometimes I shake my head and empathize with even those who take the easy way out(suicides)of life, even though I myself love life and never would consider it - no one wants to stay here any longer, not in a place like this.

As for my personal life, well I've thought seriously about where I'd like to take my art... and for now it probably might become a slow and growing business of working on Portrait Commissions. You've seen samples of my art and you know, most of my work has been gifts and made for display, but now I want to make me some money! Why not? It's for a good cause! I do plan to return to school next year, God's willing and finish what I started. People around me know that I can sing as well. I've been singing my whole life, but I never wanted to be a "SINGER/STAR" in that junction. But I have definitely made it an option. My MAIN dream has always been to express myself to the world. The ones closest to me know that I have a lot to say and that I say it best on paper. I am a writer in my soul. I write poems, stories...I've kept journals since the 6th grade.(I even still have that one!) It's just been natural for me to ace English class or writing an essay with no problems. In fact, in school it's always been my favorite subject! I just feel that when it comes to picking or choosing my life's career, I have ADD. I just switch from one to the other all the time and I can't ever stick to just one! So far, God hasn't steered me away from any of them, so maybe I have to find a way to fuse them all. I just haven't gotten to that point yet. For now, I have plenty of room in my heart for all three.

I've been so blessed all of my life, Blessed by the Creator, God. If you don't believe in Him, that's fine. Just know that I do and I will Bless His name as long as I live. My dream is just to make it from this life to the next - to heaven and to the forever that God has promised His children.

If this is how I type when I'm sick then I need to be sick more often right? Naaaah!

But it was great catching up!

In this month of September, both my brothers will be making birthdays! One is in the army and one has gotten an early pass to college! I am def proud of both of them, both younger than me in fact. God Bless them.

Hi Hey Hello...
tessagr
So I'm into the habit now of creating Video Blogs that I forget all about you! I hope I don't make forgetting a habit too! lol

Right now I have this weird headache like pressure surrounding my head. I don't know if it's because I stare at my computer too long or because I'm up too late. I'm not one to have head aches at all. So any little one I get is really weird. Every pain I get I think it's gas pain. But Gas can't get up in your head can it? I didn't think so. Watched a late night show with my Mom last night and a man was being interviewed about his bleeding in the brain ordeal. So Maybe that just made me stress out and Now I have this head ache! He said its a phenomena that can happen at any moment. There is no cause for it. It can just happen. I DO think there's a cause...and it is stress related and it is working at odd hours related and all the bad things you can do to your body related! So I'm gonna try to sleep earlier whenever I can! Means I should hit the sack right now huh? Well, I did just want to say Hi.

And I'll leave my latest VLOG with you:


Time to HEAR from me!
tessagr





I now sing for you!



It's a Brand New Day
tessagr
It's a brand new day and the sun is shining bright
It's a brand new day and I want my stomach tight
It's a brand new day I want to eat all I can
It's a brand new day Maybe I should get a man
It's a brand new day for the life I want to live
It's a brand new day time to dream wide, dream Big!
It's a brand new day for my future for my whims
It's a brand new day to Live LIve LIVE!


Yeah I just made that poem up right there. I like to rhyme, it's always been a part of me since I was little to write poems and stories. So that was my first dream. But I didn't meet many writers or hear much about them expect if they were already dead so I didn't pursue it right away. I chose to be a doctor cuz I wanted to deliver babies, but now...NOT ANYMORE! No way! I'm more of an artistic person, someone who likes to be free and in control of her own plans and work. So yeah, I'd like to call the shots, be my own boss. I would love it so much. Just to be free. Being self employed isnt the easiest especially if you don't know how to run a business at first, but I'm trying. It's slow but I'm sure with God's help I can be a success in my own way.

Last night I had such a bad...uh...stomach ache...to the point of nausea and cramps. Yeah that time of the month. But it never was so bad lasting for two hours in the night..I was so sleepy yet I couldnt sleep cuz of the stiffening pain! But being from the caribbean you know there's always natural remedies planted around to cure just about anything! haha. So I went outside for some leaves, heated water and poured the hot water on it. Got me a mug some sugar and drank that mixture all down. It took about 15 minutes or more to start working but soon I was asleep! And I dreamed about Obama trying to renovate a school and personally asking me and other students what would make us like it better according to a chart - so you KNOW I had a good sleep! lol

I'm gonna make some breakfast now..kinda late, but I gotta eat something. This summer has been great for me cuz my brother and now my mother are off the island and only me and my dad here!

Well till next time CIAO!

Oh and I got the tickets to the Ernie Haase and Signature Sound concert yay!



Gonna tell you all about it. Maybe even post a video!

?

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